#5) Do Not Disturb
In my two decades of sexual intimacy with women, I have found a truism: the sexual experience between each pair of woman is unique. No woman I shared intimacy with was the same as any other. The differences have many dimensions including what brings each pleasure, how their bodies fit together, and the past each brings to the encounter. So much of the sexual experience between two women goes well beyond the physical aspects – it’s like positive karmic payback for all the extra work that our emotional complexity entails! When it finally clicks between two women, it is simply heaven on earth.
One thing is for sure by the numbers: among women, lesbians experience the most orgasms during sexual encounters. Good news! - in this series, we are going to spend a fair amount of time exploring why. I’ll start by noting that real lesbian sex bears little to no resemblance to the television and movie portrayals, or the porn, which are more often than not the sexual fantasy version of the white men writing and producing them.
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I do not plan to compare and contrast sex with women and men. Around the time I dated Jenny, I had started to blog, and had coffee with Lesley Jane Seymour, then Editor in Chief of MORE Magazine, and one of the savviest women I know. We discussed possible topics, and I asked about discussing the differences in working with women versus men, and how women experience and react so differently. Lesley’s response is still etched in my mind: “I don’t know. I’ve never been a man.” This tidbit of wisdom has informed my thinking and writing ever since.